eiFFa’s weekLy diaRy I – shoPPing weeK!

23 april, wednesday.

woke up having migraine. didnt go to russian class. at around 1pm the pain gone. i used my time watching movie; the lake house. an old movie but nvr watched it b4. quite nice..n magical.. got informed that scholar money is already floating in maybank account. got excited!! before goin to bed, msged jB the internet guy to topup my internet 500ruble..

24 april, thursday.

biochemistry class at 9 am. i ponteng the philosophy class. it always boring, why bother going every week? went to 3rd hostel n withdrew some amt of money. scholar money was bank-in last nite. bayar my hutang. it was a very fine day, so i persuaded sueha to go pakrovskaya n eat bliniy at a new restaurant, blin-kom (блин-ком). i love to go thr coz thr r many variations of bliniy n the milkshake is damnnn nice~ btw, bliniy is russian pancakes. it was nice. love it! so off we go. i told her about a pink skirt that i love so much at OGGI last time diyana n me went together. we went there, n i bought it. the pink skirt is mine! muaHaHaHa.. sueha herself bought 2 shirts n a handbag.

here’s the pic of me eating bliniy wif cheese n mushroom n the skirt that i bought.

i also bought a compact powder from iLe de beauty n contact lens from optika chronos. then we went to magnit (магнит) – a hypermarket coz sueha will be having group’s BBQ the next day.

25 april, friday.

did physiology control in the morning. i was not so good i thk… my groupmate halim, his roomate najmie , udang n him went to gorky square to buy drum..it was about 20000 rubles n they keep it in his room. its huge. diyana wanted to go to pakrovskaya; the walking street, so i joined her. she went shopping for a skirt n a purse. i bought myself a girl’s thing.. shhh… dont wanna show it..then we went eating at mir pitstsy.

26 april, saturday.

din go shopping. loL. PPIM’s biro ekonomi opened a food stall. to raise money la. me, diyana n sueha were in-charge making mee kari…we cooked all day long. pnat la..but in the end we managed to sell everythg…other menu include; nasi tomato, burger malaysia, cekodok pisang,karipap sardin n karipap kentang.this is the 2nd time held this food stall. the 1st time i made cheese-filling doughnuts together wif pua.

yesterday, 27 april, sunday.

went to MeGa - the only HUGE mall u can find in nizhny novgorod. it’s ma roomate, diyana’s bday today. diyana, maalini, nadia n i went to have some fun. 1st thg we did was filling our greedy stomach. :P then we split. me n diyana; nad n maal. most loved thg to do - shopping, again! i bought this one gorgeous white jeans at Incity n some girl’s things at la Senza. sunglases from Camaieu, pearly bracelet n coin purse from Accessorize. that’s pretty much all. chillin’ wif diyana at coffee house (кофе хоуз) having cuppucino pina kalada..(mind u, its non-alcoholic)

here’s some pix;

and here what i’ve bought (left) & diyana bought (plus her bday gifts)

hihihi…i’ve so much fun!! :D

migrain dan perempuan.

what is migraine headache?

a migraine headache is a severe pain felt on one, and sometimes, both sides of the head. The pain is mostly in the front around the temples or behind one eye or ear. Besides pain, you may have nausea and vomiting, and be very sensitive to light and sound. Migraine can occur any time of the day, though it often starts in the morning. The pain can last a few hours or up to one or two days.

how does it feels like?

the pain of a migraine headache can be intense. It can get in the way of your daily activities. Migraines aren’t the same in all people. you may also have a “premonition” several hours to a day before your headache starts. Premonitions are feelings you get that can signal a migraine is coming. These feelings can include intense energy, fatigue, food cravings and mood changes.

possible symptoms of migraine.

• Intense throbbing or dull aching pain on one side of your head or both sides.

• Nausea or vomiting

• Changes in how you see, including blurred vision or blind spots

• Being bothered by light, noise or odors

• Feeling tired and/or confused

• Stopped-up nose

• Feeling cold or sweaty

• Stiff or tender neck

• Light-headedness

• Tender scalp

what is the cause of migraine?

the causes are yet unknown,  but some things are more common in people who have them. Most often, migraine affects people between the ages of 15 and 55. Many people have a family history of migraine. They are more common in women. Migraine often becomes less severe and frequent with age.

the theories about cause of migraine.

• the blood flow theory, which focuses on blood vessel activity in the brain. Blood vessels either narrow or expand. Narrowing can constrict blood flow, causing problems with sight or dizziness. When the blood vessels expand, they press on nerves nearby, which causes pain.
• chemical changes in the brain. When chemicals in the brain that send messages from one cell to another, including the messages to blood vessels to get narrow or expand, are interrupted, migraines can occur.
• More recently, genes have been linked to migraine. People who get migraines may inherit abnormal genes that control the functions of certain brain cells. And something the person’s body is sensitive to in some way triggers the actual headaches.

what triggers migraine?

• Strong or unusual odors, bright lights or loud noises

• Changes in weather or altitude

• Being tired, stressed or depressed

• Changes in sleeping patterns

• Certain foods, especially those that contain tyramine, sodium nitrate or phenylalanine

• Missing meals or fasting

• Menstrual periods, birth control pills or hormones

• Intense physical activity, including sexual activity

• Smoking

To help pinpoint your headache triggers, it may be helpful to keep a headache “diary.” Each time you have a migraine, write down the time of day, point in your menstrual cycle, where you are at the time, and what you were doing when the migraine started. Talk with your doctor about what sets off your headaches to help find the right treatment for you.

Different type of migraine.

there are many different types of migrain, but 2 forms seen more often; classic migrain & common migraine.

Classic migraine. With a classic migraine, a person has these visual symptoms (also called an “aura”) 10 to 30 minutes before an attack; sees flashing lights or zigzag lines has blind spots or loses vision for a short time. The aura can include seeing or hearing strange things. It can even disturb the senses of smell, taste, or touch. Women have this form of migraine less often than men.

Common migraines don’t start with an aura. Common migraines may start more slowly than classic migraines, last longer and interfere more with daily activities. The pain of common migraines may be on only one side of your head.

How long migraine actually last?

Migraines may last from 4 to 72 hours. They may happen only once or twice a year, or as often as daily.

Women are more prone to migraine headaches.

migraine headaches are more common in women. In fact, about three out of four people who have migraines are women. They are most common in women between the ages of 35 and 45; this is often a time that women have more job, family, and social commitments. Women also tend to report higher levels of pain, longer headache time, and more symptoms, such as nausea and vomiting.

Hormones may also trigger migraine. Over half of women with migraine report having them right before, during, or after their period. Others get them for the first time when taking birth control pills. And some women start getting them when they enter menopause.

More than half of women with migraine have more headaches around or during their menstrual cycle. This is often called “menstrual migraine.” But, just a small fraction of these women only have migraine at this time (including me..loL got it frm ma mother). Most have migraine headaches at other times of the month as well.

How the menstrual cycle and migraine are linked is still unclear. We know that just before the cycle begins, levels of the female hormones, estrogen and progesterone, sharply go down. This drop in hormones may trigger a migraine, because estrogen controls chemicals in the brain that affect a woman’s pain sensation.

In some women, birth control pills improve migraine. They reduce the number of attacks and attacks may be less severe. But in others, birth control pills cause migraine.

thing to do before seeing a doctor.

• how often you have headaches

• where the pain is

• how long the headaches last

• when the headaches happen, such as during your menstrual cycle

• other symptoms, such as nausea or blind spots

• any family history of migraine

Your doctor may also do an exam and ask more questions about your health history. This could include past head injury, sinus or dental problems, or medicine use. By just talking with your doctor, you may be able to give enough information to diagnose migraine. You may get a blood test and other tests if your doctor thinks that something else could be causing your symptoms. Work with your doctor to decide on the best tests for you.

medicine for migraine.

There are 2 types of migraine treatments. Some treatments are used to relieve the headache pain. Most of these treatments should be started as soon as you think you’re getting a migraine. The other type includes treatments that are used to prevent headaches before they occur.

Nonprescription medicines that can help relieve migraine pain include aspirin, acetaminophen, an acetaminophen, aspirin and caffeine combination, ibuprofen, naproxen, and ketoprofen.

People who have more severe pain may need prescription medicine. A medicine called ergotamine can be effective alone or combined with other medicines. Dihydroergotamine is related to ergotamine and can be helpful. Other prescription medicines for migraines include sumatriptan, zolmitriptan, naratriptan, rizatriptan, almotriptan, eletriptan and frovatriptan.

If the pain won’t go away, stronger medicine may be needed, such as a narcotic (brand name: Stadol nasal spray) or medicines that contain a barbiturate. These medicines can be habit-forming and should be used cautiously.

Medicine to prevent migraines may be helpful if your headaches happen more than twice a month or if your headaches make it hard for you to work and function. Examples of medicines used to prevent migraines include propranolol, timolol, divalproex and some antidepressants.

preventing migraine.

• eating a healthy diet

• being active (at least 30 minutes most days of the week is best)

• doing relaxation exercises

• getting enough sleep

• avoid foods or other things that seem to cause migraines

• drink plenty of fluids

tips on reducing migraine pain.

1) Lie down in a dark, quiet room.

2) Put a cold compress or rag over your forehead.

3) Massage your scalp using a lot of pressure.

4) Put pressure on your temples.

WHY AM I WRITING THIS?

lol :lol: it’s because i’m actually having this freaking migraine right now. the light from my laptop screen is killin’ me tp effa cekalkan gak tulis mende ni…semoga kite same2 get imformed. haha..

tERponteng microb; control physiology + bleach anime

today i woke up nicely at 10.30p.m, go to toilet, ate my breakfast (banana n banana waffle plus nescafe~), take microbiology book to study since i was busy memorizing russian text last night,; then i just remembered a very important thing; microbiology class is at 9.00am this morning!!! ohmigod…what the ****?! alson n all already talked to maiansky(our microb prof) to change the time from 12noon to 9am sebab nursing kat hospital dah xde dah…shoot! i totally forgot…n nobody reminds me.. how am i suppose to remember? the good thing is; nothing actually except that i hv extra time to memorize russian text (i hv russian oral control at 3pm) the bad thing(s) is; i already ponteng 2 classes before (1 time coz i hv to take my anat exam; 2nd time coz i had high fever), pastu tambah lagi 1(reason: forgot bout the change..)..mampos la…maiansky surely ‘cop‘ my face as a bad student…pity me~

this friday i’ll have physiology control…topic: blood. everybody have trouble remembering hemostasis...me is not an exception….i mean remembering every coagulation factor is such a pain…our precious teacher dr. efes gave us a graph about it n expect us to hafal everything…
here it is;

so i have an idea …im goin’ to relate the hemostasis thingy wif my fav anime, bleach…..the gotei 13..so i have an idea on how to hafal every factor easily…example; for extrinsic pathway…calcium will activate aizen (v), komamura (vii) & hitsugaya (x)…together 3 of them activate ichimaru gin (iii) – tissue prothrombin activator…gin will activate soifon; factor ii (prothrombin…) see, now it doesnt seems difficult anymore…lol~

this is just an example…there’s a lot of other factors…im gonna make use of every captain in gotei 13…though there’s factor xiv & xv..gonna thk bout that latter..loL im weird~

neway, gotta do anything u can as long as u can study well…hihi

low carbs, low fat tasty mashed potato alternative

notes: i am not dieting or trying to lose some weight..but somebody might, so i dedicated this to whoever out there who loves eating but dont wanna gain weight..

cauliflower mash

we need:

• 1 cauliflower
• a small pack of milk
• 50g butter (but u if u like u can reduce the amount)
• some black pepper
• some salt

1) cut cauliflower into small pieces. boil until soft. strain n then mash em!

2) place the cauliflower in a pot, cook under low heat. 1st add milk, stir, then add butter. stir again until combined.

3) add on black pepper n salt. stir, remove from heat then stir again.

done!

u know what, i found this recipe in a computer game... hehe…

edited: i made it! :D it was delicious!! try it ppl! u gonna love it!

selamat mencuba!!

wHat the….?!

for the gazillions times i asked myself why am i destined to be stuck with this particular idiot?!

everything’s is mingled up…between hapiness n sufferings…love n hate….security n insecurity~

troubles nvr go too far away from me…why does it likes me so much n keep on following me like a shadow? or am i juz being a mad psychotic creature who get oversensitive over everythg?? well, this isnt the 1st time everythg goes this way…its freaking killing me!!

why r u so difficult?!

if u want me to feel secure why dont u do something to make me feel that way…

if u want me not to worry over anything, why dont u stop doing things that make me worry..

even if i ask those, he’ll nvr give any reliable anwer…pity me..imagine my life in the future…if it continue like this, he’ll be coming home only when he need me, n my children will ask some freakingly stupid question like “where’s daddy?” and i’ll stupidly answered “he’d only come if he feels he needs us, so until he come again, just imagine he doesnt exist..quit asking that question.” pity my children..

like i’ll let that happen!! no way! have to fix this problem…but how?

p/s: random comments r not welcome for this post.

blood system – blood group – physiology class

A blood type (also called a blood group) is a classification of blood based on the presence or absence of inherited antigenic substances on the surface of red blood cells (RBCs). These antigens may be proteins, carbohydrates, glycoproteins, or glycolipids, depending on the blood group system, and some of these antigens are also present on the surface of other types of cells of various tissues. Several of these red blood cell surface antigens, that stem from one allele (or very closely linked genes), collectively form a blood group system. A total of 29 human blood group systems are now recognized by the International Society of Blood Transfusion (ISBT).

ok! that’s the info i got fm the good old wiki~ now its time for my own research! reason of blood group is the presence of special glycoprotein in erythrocyte membrane.

antigen(physiologically) – substance contained in erythrocyte membrane (refer to figure above). the most important system is ABO system followed by Rhesus(Rh) system. each person has an individual antigenic structure.

[antigen(microbiologically) - any foreign subtance that can react with immune system to produce antibody]

agglutination - a version of immune reaction participated by antigen & antibody.

ABO system.

there r 4 group of blood according to ABO system; A, B, AB & O.

antigen of ABO system are; agglutinogen A, agglutinogen B, & agglutinogen H(not active,act as base, all people hv). they r water-insoluble glycoprotein. Antigen formation starts during 2nd month of embronic development & the greatest activity is during 8-10 years old..Antibody however, only start to develops during 2months of life; mostly due to reaction with antigen in foods.

agglutinins - antibody which are presence in blood plasma (can agglutinate with erythrocytes). there are two types; alpha (anti-A); which react with antigen A and beta (anti-B), react with antigen B. human blood can contains 1 or both or none agglutinin.

human blood never contain agglutinogen and agglutinin of the same type (agglutinogen A & agglutinin A or agglutinogen B & agglutinin B)

agglutination of erythrocyte – when agglutinogen of donor are combined with same agglutinin of recepient. occur during incompatible transfussion. antibody in plasma will react with agglutinogen in the surface of erytrocytes. the agglutinated erytrocytes block small vessels & capillaries; hemolysis of erythrocytes occur due to presence of hemolysin in incompatible agglutinogen of donor causing release of hemoglobin to plasma. free hemoglobin block kidney tubules. the symptoms include; headache, pain in joints, pain and dysfunction of kidney & liver which will lead to death.

Blood transfusion.

the main principle: transfer of blood of the same blood group.

principles of transfusion of blood to different group: 1) transfused blood should NOT contain identical agglutinogen of donor to identical agglutinin of recipient. 2) donor agglutinins are diluted when small(~500ml) volume of blood are transfused. (blood in human ~4.5 – 5L, so not enough agglutinins of donor – agglutination wont occur)

left: erythrocytes compatibility chart; right: plasma compatibility chart.

Method of bood transfusion.

1) before transfusion check ABO factor & Rhesus factor of recipient & donor.

2) then make cross test. (mix erythrocytes of donor n plasma of recipient & vice versa.) Check for agglutination cause by other factors.

3) then make biological test. tranfuse blood to the recipient 10-15ml fast. then stop for 3 minutes & check the patient. repeat this 3 times.

4) if no symptoms occurs (headache, respiratory problems, etc) then continue with full transfusion.

Rhesus system.

Many people also have a Rh factor on the red blood cell’s surface. This is also an antigen and those who have it are called Rh+. Those who haven’t are called Rh-. A person with Rh- blood does not have Rh antibodies naturally in the blood plasma (as one can have A or B antibodies, for instance). But a person with Rh- blood can develop Rh antibodies in the blood plasma if he or she receives blood from a person with Rh+ blood, whose Rh antigens can trigger the production of Rh antibodies. A person with Rh+ blood can receive blood from a person with Rh- blood without any problems. [from nobelprize.org]

Rhesus factors are = C,D,E,c,d,e. each person has one of each of the 3pairs. D antigen is widely prevalent and more antigenic than other Rh antigens. erythrocytes with D antigen, Rh+ (~85%); Rh- (~15%). antibody of this factor only develop after blood transfusion.

Rhesus conflicts:

1) transfusion of Rh+ to Rh- person, for 1st time no reaction occurs but Rh- person will develop anti-Rh which can cause agglutination. if he receive another Rh+ blood transfusion, will lead to post-transfusional shock due to agglutination.

2) Rh- mother with Rh+ fetus.During pregnancy,in normal condition blood of mother n fetus wont mix because there is a placental barrier between mother n fetus. but this barrier may increase in permeability during certain conditions (stress, heavy work, running, etc). blood mix can also happen during delivery or miscarriage due to tearing of placenta. this mix wil cause the mother will produce anti-D Rh antibody but the baby will be in normal condition. on her 2nd pregnancy with Rh+ fetus, anti-Rh antibody from mother may pass through placenta & agglutinate & hemolyse fetal blood. the baby will born with hemolytic disease of newborns (HDN) or erythroblastosis fetalis.

notes: about 2% of HDN is due to ABO blood incompability.but this is rare because the size of A & B aglutinogens is bigger, so wont penetrate tru placenta easily.

3) the mother(Rh-) had received blood transfusion from Rh+ donor. the 1st pregnancy maybe effected.

prevention: inject anti-D serum(Rh immune globulin) at 28 to 32 weeks of pregnancy in which the mother is Rh- & father Rh+. this anti-D serum binds fetal erythrocyte antigen so they cant stimulate mother’s immune system.

blood group notation; type of blood according to ABO system plus + or – (indication of Rhesus type)

mine is O+.last friday in physiology class we made experiment to determine blood group.actually the teacher Dr. Efes doesnt want us to use our own blood as experimental object, but using donor’s blood instead. but without her knowing i punctured my own finger with my pin tudung then use my own blood for the experiment (kantoi la..hihi). we tested the blood with serum containing different antibody(serum 0, serum A, n serum B). then in other expriment we tested the blood with anti-Rh..my blood didn’t agglutinate after mixing with all ABO serum but aglutinated when mix with anti-Rh serum. it proved my blood have no agglutinogen A or B but have agglutinogen-D, the characteristic of O blood group with Rh+.

hihi..research dah siap..scara xlangsung i’ve prepared myself for physiology control minggu depan :D

yuuhuu~ 8-)

reference: wikipedia, nobelprize.org, dr. efes class notes, saladin’s basic anat & physio, seniors notes.

!tour to coconut n pumpkin’s heaven!

sebenarnya post kali ni dikhaskan utk showing around my very2 precious room which i(coconut) shared together wif diyana(pumpkin) dah setengah thn dah…god, i’ve been wanting to post this kind of thg for so long…so mule2, jom la jenguk2 bilik kitorg…

tok! tok! assalamua–…MASYAALLAH!!

haa…ni la pintu bilik kitorg…dah byk dah timbulkan kontraversi….satu floor kecoh wei…sampai kakak african yg jual oriflame pun shock tgk….tp sbnrnye xde pape pon…me n diyana luv this poster sooo much, so ktorg beli la n lekat kat dpan pintu as a warm welcome~ btw, me n diyana mmg ade history together..shhh! (jgn bgtaw org…) wokeh..dont waste any time, meh masuk…

this is my side of the room…mule2 tgk la katil effa..the polar bear tu name die mishkie II… die dah kawin dah.. tp laki die xduduk ngn die..cian..effa suke peta, so effa beli la..ktorg tande tpt2 ktorg dah pegi kat peta tu…kat book shelf tu, dlm kotak, sume buku2 study..biochem, physiology, phycho, philosophy, russian, microbiology…sume2 la..n the free space of the shelf i used it nicely to keep all my cosmetics… face cream, handcream, foot gel, bedak, losyen, perfumes..sume kat situ..beg yg bgantung tu my favorite purse…cantik sgt, sbb tu jd brg hiasan..hehe..n the table, my 2nd fav place after my bed…kat situ la effa online..n study kdg2..hihihi…sofboard tpt gantung benda2 penting n xpenting…even my accessories sume i pinned thr…n nampak x bakul buluh tu? effa isnt so good at mengemas brg2, so the main function of the bakul is, tpt i campak sume2 brg2 supaye meja xbsepah~

ok, kite tgk diyana punye side of the room plak~

haa..ni la die..kemas je..xmcm effa punye..die ade 3 shelves…mcm2 die letak situ..shelf paling atas tu mostly makanan jew..:p cakap pasal makan, jom la tgk tpt ktorg slalu makan~ ni die…

see..kat sini la ktorg slalu melantak…microwave n baking oven tu effa punye..biase la, effa kan suke je bile ckp psl masak2, baking2 n makan2 ni…bosan2, mule la cari bende nak masak…lepas masak, ktorg hidang makanan sini..makan same2 ngan budak bilik sebelah.. kla..tu je kot..meh kluar..eh, jap! kte tgk our so-called mini-kitchen…

hihi…bapak besar kan diyana punye fridge ni…kat sebelah die tu tempat ktorg simpan barang2 masak ktorg..beras, rempah2, pingan mangkuk..kat dlm almari kecik tu ktorg simpan garam gula sume2..kte kluar tgk blok k..tp sblum tu effa nak tunjuk blakang pintu ade ape…wpun x cantek pon blakang pintu tu, tp nak gak tunjuk!!

here it is! tpt gantung2 sume pakaian2 yg slalu pakai..jeans, baju tido, sweater, baju memasak..sini la tptnye..kotak2 tu tpt simpan barang2 yg xslalu guna…

inilah ruang blok ktorg…satu blok ade 2 bilik..bilik besa n bilik kecik…ade ruang dlm blok ni kite buat tpt gantung winter jackets n letak rak simpan kasut… rak ni effa punye..kasut2 kat atas tu sume effa punye..yg kat bwh tu budak2 bilik sebelah(winny n naddy) punye..diorg xde tpt nak letak dah sbb maha byk kasut, so diorg tumpang la rak effa…satu blok share satu toilet…nak tgk toilet ktorg? jgn bgtaw org tau ape korg nampak sini~

hihihi…xnak comment la..biar korang je komen…jom kite tgk mcmne rupe blok ktorg ni dari luar..

taadaa..la, tadi kite masuk xkan xperasan..hehehe…kat sini la saye tinggal..:D ni la kediaman effa kat nizhny…xtpikir lagi nak pindah memane…tp tgk la cane nnt..

eh, lupe plak..nak tunjuk tempat ktorg masak… kitchen floor ktorg… sini, satu floor ade 2 kitchen… tp kan, satu floor ade 2wing…ni kitchen wing kitorg…sini la ktorang same2 masak…tp mengeratkan silaturrahim..:mrgreen:

tempat main masak2…hmm…rasenye tu je la….nak tgk coridor floor ktorg?  memang nampak horror la, tp biase je..lpun ktorg xde la nak duduk lame2 kat coridor ni…

okey! tour kite dah abes…amacam? best x?

я вас любил – Aleksandr Pushkin

я вас любил - Aleksandr Pushkin

я вас любил, любовь ещё, быть может,
в душе моей угасла не совсем,
но пусть она вас больше не тревожит;
я не хочу печалить вас ничем.
я вас любил безмолвно, безнадежно,
то робостью, то ревностью томим;
я вас любил так искренно, так нежно,
как дай вам бог любимой быть другим.
1829

phew…penat oo effa type…susah la russian keyboard ni…ingat senang ka? see, ni la hasil kecekalanku..wakaka! we learnt about this poem in russian intensive class…the meaning is very…touching…if ever some guy give this poem to me~ *berangan jap* hikhik...though i might give it to some1…loL…

ok! cite sket pasal dis poem and this Pushkin guy…pemes sgt die ni..die ni kawin la ngn sorang pompuan ni…name pompuan tu natalia…cantik sangat..die cinta n sayang head over heel la kat bini dia ni…then ada la this french guy, jatuh cinta ngan bini dia (apa la laki ni bini org pun nak..carik org len xleh ke?) kisah cinta pushkin ni dramatik gak la..coz he died for the one he really loved…die mati kne tembak ..poem ni die wat untuk bini die la..maksud poem ni in malay “aku telah mencintai mu” ceh…jiwang gler bunyi..tp mmg jiwang pon~ let’s see the english version of this poem…

I LOVED THOU (translated by bayever alexandr)

i loved thou, yet the love, maybe,
have died out in my soul not at all,
but i decided not to worry thee,
i want to sadden thee with nothing.
i loved thou soundlessly, hopelessly,
i was parched some time with the timidity,
some time with jealousy,
i loved thou so unaffectedly, so gently,
how God do give for thou to be loved by another.

camtu la lebih kurang maksud die…its not really accurate…but this is the best translation out of 3 translations by different person…okay…well how about now, i try to translate it in MALAY.. im refering to the russian one so the words used might be different from the english one~

AKU TELAH MENCINTAIMU (translated by dayang haniffa..chewah!!)

aku telah mencintaimu, cinta itu, mungkin,
di jiwaku belum terpadam langsung,
namun kuharap cintaku tak buat kau risau,
aku tak ingin sedihkan kau dengan apa-apa pun.
aku telah mencintaimu, tak terkata, tak terdaya,
dengan malu, dengan cemburu aku tersiksa;
aku telah mencintaimu seikhlasnya, setulusnya,
sepertinya Tuhan takdirkan kau untuk dicintai oleh orang lain.

so that’s how it sounds in malay…i used direct translation of words here, not direct translation of the whole line…its to mengelak maksud die lari…hehe..effa ada bakat terpendam… hurm…last line tu…xtau la nak ubah cane..coz maksud this whole poem is;
1) this persona love(d) his lover so much that he wished she can be loved by other ppl so that other ppl know how great it feels to love this girl; and/or 2) the persona love(d) his lover so much but other ppl might love her more, so he’s doubting whether or not he’s qualified to love this girl of his..and/or 3) the persona was stating the fact that his lover is also loved by other ppl then he was expressing how great his love for her thru this poem..

huhu…effa still terer sastera la..best la this poem…kalau buat jadi lirik lagu best gak…kalau hujan wat jadi lirik lagu die kan best..hihi…:D *berangan lagi*

nota kaki:
this is not hudsonism or anything close to it…this is juz ‘sharing a great work of art’ that cant be understand by other fellow m’sian…

p/s:
sastera adalah sesuatu yang halus…kalau dihayati, boleh difahami, senang dipelajari…paklah xtaw about this fact…simply saying sastera tu susah isnt an intelligent way of thinking…kalau camtu xyah la blaja addmath ke physics ke..lagi susah, lagi pening kpale otak nak faham..paklah, kalau xkenal xcinta la…kalau xtaw, hati buta~

event today – biochemistry control

firstly, the term control is widely used in russia, used in such situation when a teacher finished teaching a topic, she/he will check the knowledge of the students before teaching new topic. easier explanation; control = test.

started the night b4, i studied so hard for today’s biochemistry control. the topic - protein synthesis. at 1st glance i thought it is a very hard topic…but when i started studying, it turned out to be quite easy…. although it quite hard to remember all the structure.

my class actually start at 9.00am…but by that time i havent fully prepared plus, i was having the goddamn constipation..too bad..:x so, i joined other class at 11.40… but gosh i got a question i didnt really studied..about NO.i’ve read about it but i didnt try to remember well.. this is the bad effect of learning through questions; im getting used at it..u c, in the system here, they give a lot of questions(hundreds of em!) beforehand, but at examination time, they’ll asked only a few questions (nvr more than 5) and the goddamn NO thingy isnt included in the lists of questions..so i can only write down the formation of it from arginine n oxygen…the rest (NOS-isomerase, mechanism of NO in body, regulation..etc) goes all the way to toilet..i xjawab la maksudnya..ekeekee..the other 2 questions were about ammonia detoxification so i had no problem answering coz i studied sampai nak tmuntah darah dah (hyperbola sahaja – we often take the muntah darah thingy as a joke now since the incident of dis mamat india[identiti dirahsiakan ] yg study anatomy kuat sgt smpai muntah darah, or so thats what rumours said~)

ok..bebalik kat control tu, when i was answering, i told the teacher that i didnt study much about this NO thing…but since i answered all other question, he gave me a 4-~ okok…sistem die mcm ni (if compared dgn sistem UPSR kat malaysia);

5 - excellent = A

4 - good = B

3 - satisfactory =  C

2 - bad = D

1 - very bad (poor) = E

so, pendek cite, i got B- la…its not very impressing really..honestly for me, its quite disappointing… coz i know how much i studied..if he (the teacher la) give me the all questions from the practical book, i can answer it all…i know i can…but u know what they said, in russia, its all about LUCK…and i didnt have it today~

welcome back to the world of blogging,fa~

got triggered by diyana to work on a blog at this wordpress…not that she asked me to do it…its juz that she keep on blogging n blogging n somehow it get on my nerve..but in a good way la…hihi…

blogging is always one of my most favorites things to do…its juz that lately a lot of factors have been supressing me from doing it…lacking of time, lacking of idea, n some other personal reasons…i have experienced ppl read my blog n then using those to put me down n make my life miserable…no big deal actually…but my personal life got affected and that wasnt a good thing at all…i took a break for awhile. so here i am again..have another blog at myspace…

juz an introduction here…mwackz!!